Very Recent News!
Cardiff City star Nicole Cooke in FA Cup glory!
Nicole Cooke in disguise as "Scott Young" scores winner to put Cardiff City into next round!
After Nicole's face mask was
removed, we spoke to her.
"Well, it wasn't that challenging really. A goal saving tackle at the other end, followed by a pretty simple goal scored by yours truly is all in a minute's work for me."
When we asked if she felt threatened by the rioters:
"No, that wasn't a problem either. I just whistled for my magic bike, and it came faithfully out of the sky to bear me back to my castle."
We quizzed Nicole about her future in top flight football:
"The Premiership is one of my more basic aims. I mean, it's all rather easy really, isn't it? Although I would like to change some of the footballer's kit. Those shorts aren't tight enough for cycling round a pitch for 90 minutes are they?"
Exclusive! Nicole Cooke reveals details on Commonwealth Games!
Nicole revealed her strategy for the Commonwealth Games the other day. She has been warned by her lawyers that this could damage her chances of gold. But we can reveal what she said:
"Oh, I'll just turn up and win. Ooops! Given away my strategy there. Bet the legal team won't be too happy! "
Seconds later, she was bungled off in a bag by her lawyers.
The other day, somewhere in the USA, Nicole won some event and got a prize and some money for it. We couldn't remember the details, it's getting boring with Nicole winning everything.
Even More Recent News!
Next month, Nicole begins her 10 year program to win every competition in every sport in the world. She will be entering the snatch weightlifting, and the super heavy weight boxing. We wish her every success!
Check it out! Nicole wins Super Heavyweight boxing crown! Congratulations Nicole!