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Nicole’s Anti Drugs Rally Ruined by Drugs!


The other day, the custodian of drug free cyclists, Nicole Cooke, took to the streets with her band of supporters to lead a demo against drugs in cycling. When asked to comment, Nicole said “There’s a lot of complaints about drugs in sport. But they all seem to be missing the point really. And the point is that as drugs get better, people will start to beat me”


Unfortunately, the demo was ruined by a load of drugged up cycling fans who screamed at Nicole “Traitor!”. A spokesman said “Drugs are the life and soul of our sport. Nicole is betraying cycling!”


In other news, it has emerged that Nicole is “more popular than Monkey”. The latest popularity poll shows that Nicole is now ahead of the ITV Digital Monkey in the popularity stakes in the UK. Johnny Vegas is not amused.


Nicole has also been watching the world cup avidly. No, cycling fans, this is not THE World Cup we are talking about, but the far less popular FOOTBALL World Cup. Apparently. Nicole was miffed when Wick failed to qualify when they “forgot to enter.”